Vlad: As Per My Last Impalement
XS
$32.95
Sale price
$32.95
Regular price
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"Per My Last Impalement" Tee
The ultimate response to an email that should have been a read-receipt. This tee features the iconic woodcut-style portrait of Vlad Tepes framed in a distressed gothic arch, paired with the legendary corporate passive-aggressive phrase rewritten for the dark ages: "Per My Last Impalement." It’s the perfect blend of office fatigue and historical brutality.
Whether you're dealing with repetitive questions on Slack, ignored project updates, or just want to bring some savage wit to casual Friday, this shirt lets everyone know you don't like repeating yourself.
This t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
Disclaimer: The fabric is slightly sheer and may appear see-through, especially in lighter colors or under certain lighting conditions.
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), The Bride & Cryptones and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at PO BOX 99900 CW 502 583
STN MAIN
TERRACE BC V8G 0J3 or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.
Vlad: As Per My Last Impalement
The ultimate response to an email that should have been a read-receipt
$32.95
Sale price
$32.95
Regular price
The ultimate response to an email that should have been a read-receipt. This tee features the iconic woodcut-style portrait of Vlad Tepes framed in a distressed gothic arch, paired with the legendary corporate passive-aggressive phrase rewritten for the dark ages: "Per My Last Impalement." It’s the perfect blend of office fatigue and historical brutality.
Whether you're dealing with repetitive questions on Slack, ignored project updates, or just want to bring some savage wit to casual Friday, this shirt lets everyone know you don't like repeating yourself.
This t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
Disclaimer: The fabric is slightly sheer and may appear see-through, especially in lighter colors or under certain lighting conditions.
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), The Bride & Cryptones and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at PO BOX 99900 CW 502 583
STN MAIN
TERRACE BC V8G 0J3 or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.
Size guide
| LENGTH (inches) | WIDTH (inches) | CHEST (inches) | |
| XS | 27 | 16 ½ | 31-34 |
| S | 28 | 18 | 34-37 |
| M | 29 | 20 | 38-41 |
| L | 30 | 22 | 42-45 |
| XL | 31 | 24 | 46-49 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 | 50-53 |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 | 54-57 |
| 4XL | 34 | 30 | 58-61 |
| 5XL | 35 | 31 | 62-65 |
| LENGTH (cm) | WIDTH (cm) | CHEST (cm) | |
| XS | 68.6 | 42 | 78.7-86.4 |
| S | 71.1 | 45.7 | 86.4-94 |
| M | 73.7 | 50.8 | 96.5-104.1 |
| L | 76.2 | 55.9 | 106.7-114.3 |
| XL | 78.7 | 61 | 116.8-124.5 |
| 2XL | 81.3 | 66 | 127-134.6 |
| 3XL | 83.8 | 71.1 | 137.2-144.8 |
| 4XL | 86.4 | 76.2 | 147.3-155 |
| 5XL | 89 | 78.7 | 157.5-165 |
The ultimate response to an email that should have been a read-receipt